My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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