The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
God, I missed his penis.
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