dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
