And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
