The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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