i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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