What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
