I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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