After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
