He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
