i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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