we have officially lost it.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
