I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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