I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
