So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
