just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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