I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Randomize
