i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize
