I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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