smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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