I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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