someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
