I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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