I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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