i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
