Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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