On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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