I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
