She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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