I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
