I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
