I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
