so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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