I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
