What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
