That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
