Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She made me pour olive oil on her.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
