can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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