captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
