Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
