Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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