Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
