ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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