Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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