My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
