whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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