I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Randomize
