When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
