He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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