I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
We have started to decorate penises.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
