i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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